Official Crazy

Officially Crazy
After months of playing go round with the people who were supposed to deliver our house it was told to us that when they went to move the house and bring it to us, the underneath of the house fell out. Like what? How does that happen? You mean you were ripping use off basically. I .wanted to drop f bombs left and right but maintained appropriate language.
So what now, you may ask. They are giving us a bigger, wider, and one more bedroom house to replace it and at the same price. My love was grinning ear to ear. I, on the hand was still pissed.
First and foremost, they have stalled for months which was completely unnecessary. Well, somewhat. I do understand that can’t move it in the rain and it has been raining a lot. But dam we paid in March. 
Secondly, I feel as if we have been discriminated against and lied to due to the fact we weren’t buying a house brand new. Not right and such crap.
Lastly, I have no clue what this house looks like. GRANTED it’s bigger and we need the extra room, it just feels as if we were forced to get it. I know I liked the other house, this I have no clue.  Selfish? Maybe. 
I don’t like this one bit and I feel officially crazy for not being happy that we get a bigger one which accommodates our needs better. Everyone else is excited and I’m over here like the sour puss. 
What is wrong with me? Can I be that miserable of a person? Has my life’s past events made me bitter? While I don’t know these answers, I do know that those events do still affect me. I want to be happy. I want to let those things go and the majority I have let go off. But for some reason the cloud of depression always seeps in. I have no reason for it any longer. I have a great life and I am doing better than I ever have. Yet there is a cloud that won’t cease. I have realized through the years the effects of having depression, how to deal with them better, and how to deal with them WITHOUT medicine. I will not let this beat me, but still I feel crazy. 


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