Week Wrap Up

 As some of you are aware, my uncle Jason passed this week. It has been emotionally draining and I have done a lot of sleeping. I still feel like I could sleep for days but I am pushing myself to get back to my schedule. 
 The funeral was beautiful and we all pulled together to see that it that things got done, a true sense of family came shining through this horrible tragedy. I got to see two of the three boys my uncle Jason has. I had not seen them since they where barely walking due to the fact that once my uncle and his wife separated their mom moved them to Louisiana. I also got to see my other two cousins and my only brother that I had also have not seen in at least 10 years. It was definitely an emotional time and the presence of these faces made it harder even though I was so glad to see them. 
 My brother and I was super close before I left and came to live in Alabama. Our relationship deteriorated due to lack of communication and distance. I missed him very much but he never knew it. When the time came for him to leave I held back the tears subconsciously due to the fact he always looked up to me and thought of me as a strong person. While I do not know if his perception
of me is still that person I could not bring myself to show him any different. It was so nice to have those seemingly short hours with him and at times there was an unexplained awkwardness. I want to say something but did not know what to say. I wanted to squeeze him and keep him here forever, but knew he had to go. I wish my sister could have come but understand that she could not. Her life with three kids, school, work, and a sick boyfriend would not allow her the time away, but I understand. I will see her and my niece's soon.
 There is a time and a season for all things, even if we do not understand them. As I have grow up, I have realized so much but it still does not make it easier. I will continue to look up and let the Lord guide me to the next step I need to take. This is getting to emotional so, with that thought, I will close and ask: How was your week? 
                  Xoxo,
           

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